I don't ever like to talk badly about any of my teammates but after today, I really need to vent about the worst running partner ever - they've been there ever since I started running and when I joined Team in Training, I couldn't seem to get away from them. Even when I wasn't at practice, this partner followed me. We've been fighting for months and I keep telling myself I'm going to leave them but I didn't know how. My running partner told me I would never be able to make it, they've been a constant reminder of the pace requirements and of that damn bus ( if you don't maintain a 14 pace in Marine Corps they pick you up in a bus and you don't finish) and they're always telling me that I'm not going fast enough. I believed them.
My running partner slows me down on long runs and takes up my time when I'm on the trail. My running partner convinced me that I wasn't going to make it if my friend and mentor couldn't run the race this year and I bought it hook line and sinker. My running partner always tries to sabotage my training by telling me to not listen to the advice. The worst part is that my running partner has this way of making sure that I forget how far I've come this year. They constantly remind me of how much farther I have to go instead of letting me remember how far I've come. I had a fight with my running partner earlier this week and I knew it was time for us to go our separate ways but I really wasn't sure I knew how until I realized today that I'm the only one that can make them go away. My running partner's name is Doubt and THE BITCH HAD TO GO!
As soon as I let go of it all, my run was transformed. Suddenly next week's run didn't seem to long, that damn pace bus didn't seem like an issue and the first words out of my mouth after running 10 miles was " I'm not even out of breath!" The ride home we talked about the first 10 mile run we did, I was filled with so much anxiety over running double digits. by mile 3 I was complaining, by mile 6 I was begging for walking breaks and today 10 miles seems effortless. For the first time, I saw my progress with eyes unclouded by doubt and it was shocking. 18 months ago, I could hardly walk around the block, 5 months ago my pace was 17min.,I've never run longer then 3 miles without stopping for a break,and I couldn't run up a hill to save my life. In 5 months I've shaved off 3 min. to my pace time, dropped 30lbs and my longest run to date is 18 miles (that's only 8 miles away from my goal) and I ran up the biggest baddest hill in the Marine Corps race not once, not twice but THREE TIMES in one run!
I have transformed from someone who wants to be a runner into an actual runner. but the most amazing transformation has been my attitude and my perseverance. It would have been so easy to quit my first day when I finished 20 min. behind everyone else, it would have been the perfect excuse to drop out when I started a new job, it would have been a great opportunity to stop training when I had a hip injury or got sick. Instead I put my head down and worked harder, in a time when most would have quit, that is the time I put in extra time to get stronger. When I got scared and ran months with doubt in my head, I didn't buckle at the knees to it, I grew the courage to tell the worst running partner ever that THE BITCH HAD TO GO!
I am becoming the person I aspire to be and am reaching the goals I aspire to reach, it hasn't been a perfect journey but it has been a beautiful one. This is my month to reach an important milestone in my life and when I cross that finish line in 30 days, I will not be the same person I was when I started this all, I'll be a much better one!
P.S. I lost 6lbs this week - how crazy is that?!!?
Also don't forget to make your donations to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society by clicking the link below!
http://pages.teamintraining.org/nca/corps10/amundis
2 comments:
Hahaha - I LOVE this blog entry girl! I was about to say "Who is this bitch, I'm coming to DC to beat the SNOT out of her myself!". :)
Great job- you continue to kick ass and inspire me!
I love this entry! Keep up the good work.
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