Being a Badass- An update about Lupus - or NOT!

Turns out my Lupus was not the cause of all my mysterious ailments, I had an undetected staph infection ( either from a bugbite or a running blister) which turned into Toxic Shock Syndrome and I had no idea!! First of all I didn't even know it was possible to get TSS from anything other then using tampons, which I don't use but apparently you can get it from staph infections and strep throat too! Anywho, the symptoms of TSS are mild fever, loss of energy, body aches, kidney failure and a rash - symptoms of a lupus flair up mild fever, loss of energy, body aches, kidney failure and a rash. I had all those signs but not even a trained medical professional could tell the difference. It wasn't until last week when a strange new symptom showed up that they could figure out what was going on -all the skin started peeling off my hands! The Dr said it was clear that I had TSS from this infection but that my body had fought it off and healed itself on its own! Peeling of the hands is one of the last stages of healing and apparently I've been sick for 2 months! It explains why my kidney's were showing signs of distress and why on the second test, they were returning to normal function. Now I wasn't worried at all, even after he told me the last stage is for me to lose my hair in a week or two ( I already have a shaved head so it doesn't matter) but when I got home I read some pretty scary stuff saying that 50% of people with TSS die!!! My Dr said it really was amazing that my body was able to heal itself and that I ran the whole time with it. I think its even more amazing that 2 years ago my immune system would have never been strong enough to fight that off itself - wanna know the even better news?! All my other tests came back perfect - blood sugar levels and even with running a marathon and working out, my inflammation rate (which is called a SED rate) was so low, it didn't even register. That means not only is my Lupus under control but that my body is physically able to handle what I've thrown at it. Whats this all mean in terms of training? I'm out of the woods now - no more infection - no fever - no kidney problems, just peeling hands! I feel like I've cheated death alot in my lifetime -especially the last few years and while I kinda feel like that should scare me, it doesn't. It only makes me appreciate life even more. For two months I had a 50/50 chance of waking up and dropping dead and without knowing it, I still was able to push myself to do some pretty amazing things. It makes me think of all my teammates who understand how fleeting life can be and who chose to challenge themselves in spite of it. One of my teammates called me a Badass today for training while being sick but to me, the real badasses are those teammates that have knowingly stared death in the face and fought back, those are the baddasses and they are the ones that inspire me to not sit and contemplate all the close calls in my life but instead get out and celebrate all the greatness!